


I can't help falling in love with you

by PanicAtThePenetration



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Band, Coffee, M/M, Rain, body image issues, then Josh comes, trigger warning, tyler is vv sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2016-02-03
Packaged: 2018-05-08 03:26:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5481674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PanicAtThePenetration/pseuds/PanicAtThePenetration
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh finds Tyler in a park. Josh really likes Tyler, but will Tyler's mind keep him from liking Josh?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know I'm just trying out some stuff

Water. Water's everywhere, filling his lungs and weighing down his brain. He's screaming, but nobody's listening. Black spots are clouding his vision, he's going to pass out. No, he's going to die. The water turns to thick blood and he's really choking now, all of his senses-

"Hey! Are you okay? Dude, cmon get up!" He's still screaming, someone's trying to get him. He needs to get away. 

"Stop! I'm trying to help- just calm down!" No no no, he's has to run or they'll get him- "Calm down!"

Tyler's head snaps up and he's face to face with a stranger. He can feel the freezing rain mixing with the sweat on his forehead. 

"Hey! That's it, are you okay?" The stranger repeats, eyes wide. Tyler slowly regains feeling in his arms and legs. He realizes he's on the ground in the middle of a deserted park, papers scattered around him from his fallen school bag. He scrambles backwards, trying to get away from the mystery man.

"Hey, no don't do that! I'm trying to help, what's your name? What are you doing out here without a coat?" He asks, but Tyler's focused on leaving. He needs to get his stuff and get home, somebody's after him. He can't get caught, who knows what they'd do to him, he needs to leave. He can hear it echoing in his head, over and over. -My names blurry face and I care what you think-

"Go away!" He yells, voice raspy. Tears have started flowing down his face freely, and he's attempting to stand but his legs are too shaky so he falls to the ground in a ball. "Leave me alone! I didn't do anything! Please!" He sobbed, eyes clenched shut tight.

The stranger should have left, but he was worried for the smaller boy. "Hey, what are you talking about? I don't want to hurt you-" then he realized that he must be having some kind of panic attack. "Oh." 

It was silent for a few moments, and Tyler could feel his heartbeat slow. He slowly regained control of his thoughts, and felt incredibly embarrassed. He was glad the other person had decide to leave-

"Better?" Tyler jumped at the voice, and watched the guy with red hair come out from behind a tree. "I remember whenever I had a panic attack, I just needed to be left alone. What's your name?" He asked.

Tyler's throat felt dry, man was this guy handsome. When he saw him looking at him questioningly, he realized he probably asked him something. "What?" He said, then flushed red. "Sorry, I was just-"

"No worries. I asked what your name was. I'm Josh." Josh came forward and stuck his tattooed arm out. 

Tyler took it a little sheepishly and was pulled to his feet by strong arms. He stumbled when he was up, but Josh caught him. They were face to face when Tyler gulped and said, "I-I'm Tyler."

"What a beautiful name. Now, Tyler, if you don't mind me asking, what were you doing around here at this time without a coat?" Josh asked, leaning down to grab some of Tyler's things. 

Tyler rubbed his neck absently, looking embarrassed again. "I'm not really sure..." He mumbled. "I was, well I remember being at my apartment... And I was just studying for an exam but decided to take a break and play my ukulele. I couldn't figure out this tricky chord and I... I kind of got really stressed and I forgot to take my medicine earlier and... I kind of lost control." 

Josh had wrapped his arm around Tyler's shoulders halfway through the story, and was listening with a look of sympathy in his eyes. "Well, how about we go get you out of this rain and warmed up so I can take you out for some coffee?"

Tyler looked down at his feet, twisting his fingers in the hem of his shirt. After weighing the "what is he kills you" against "he did want to help you", he decided when a hot guy asks out an awkward person like him, why not take it?

Tyler looked to Josh's nervous face and smiled. "Sounds wonderful." Josh's expression instantly brightened and he grinned widely, showing off his white teeth.

Tyler blushed for what felt  
like the thousandth time that day and smiled a little sheepishly. "My apartments kinda a far walk that way, but I don't want to stay in these clothes." He waved down to his dripping outfit.

Josh laughed. "Understandable. My apartments just a few minute walk. There's a cute coffee shop across from it. You can borrow some of my clothes, you look my size. They might be a little loose, but you're a small guy." Josh said, taking Tyler's hand to lead him.

Tyler held Josh's hand back hesitantly, following wherever Josh lead him.

••••••••

Josh handed him some black skinny jeans and a black skeleton hoodie. Tyler just held them for a second, wondering where Josh wanted him to change. After a few moments of silence, Josh must've realized Tyler's embarrassment.

"Oh sorry! I'll be in the kitchen." Josh said, adding a "just lay your clothes in the hamper." Before closing the door behind him. 

Tyler stood there awkwardly for a few moments, before slowly undressing, trying not to look down at his body and feeling happy Josh had given him a long sleeve shirt to hide his arms. 

When he came out of the room a few minutes later, Josh had found another coat and an umbrella for Tyler. "Thanks, Josh." He mumbled shyly, looking at his feet when Josh smirked.

"Shall we go?" Josh asked, holding his apartment door open for Tyler to exit. 

"Why thank you!" Tyler fake-curtsy and walking through the door, leaving a laughing Josh behind.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So, I decided to write up a chapter two. There's a trigger warning for the end of the chapter, I tried not to go to much into detail but if you're sensitive please just skip the rest after Josh drops Tyler off.

"So, Tyler. Tell me a little bit about yourself." Josh said as they entered the elevator.

Tyler looked down, hands toying with the slightly-too long sleeves.  
"Uhm..." He gulped nervously. "Well, I was born and raised here... There's nothing really interesting, what about you?" Tyler rushed, refusing to look at Josh.

Josh looked confused, and slightly worried. "Tyler, what's wrong?" He flinched when he felt Josh's hand on his cheek, and realized he had started to cry, silent tears rolling down his cheeks.

"N-nothing..." Tyler mumbled, wrapping his arms around himself after wiping at the tears.

Josh looked skeptical, but decided not to push it. "Alright." He said softly, dropping his hand from Tyler's face in favor of taking his hand. He didn't see Tyler's blushing face before the elevator doors opened and he was dragging him along.

They arrived at a cute little coffee shop across from the apartment building. It was painted a dark brown, and accented with white trim.

Josh led Tyler through the front door into a dimly lit room. The barista looked up, and immediately smiled.

"Joshua Dun! It's been far too long since you've been here." The guy said in a strange voice that made Josh giggle. "Wait, and you've brought a friend!"

Josh smiled. "Yeah, this is Tyler. Tyler, this is one of my best friends, Brendon." Tyler gave a little wave and a shy smile towards Brendon.

"Aww! He's so cute! Is he your new boy toy?" Brendon asked with a smirk, leaning over the counter.

Tyler blushed furiously along with Josh. "No. We're friends, Bren. We just met. Now, get back to work you slacker." Josh fired at him.

Brendon just rolled his eyes, Tyler noticed he did that a lot. "Whatever, Dun. What do you two want to drink?" He asked after putting his hat back on.

"Ha-ha. I'll have the usual, Urie." He said in a monotone before turning to Tyler. "What do you want? It's on me."

Tyler blushed again, "No, it's ok Josh. I can buy my own."

Josh laughed, and when Tyler only tilted his head in confusion, he explained. "Sorry, but you couldn't even if I would let you, which I wouldn't. But hellllo, you're wearing my clothes. Your wallet isn't with you."

Tyler frowned. "Fine. I'll have a small coffee, please." Josh grinned wolfishly.

"He actually says please! I like him." Brendon yelled at Josh from behind the counter.

Josh rolled his eyes and grabbed the two coffees. "Cmon, Ty. Let's find a place to sit."

Tyler's heart raced at the nickname. Nobody has ever really given him one, besides his best- and only- friend, Patrick.

They sat in the far right corner, right by the window so they had a terrific view of the rainy day Josh had saved Tyler from.

"So Josh, can I ask you something?" Tyler asked nervously after a few quiet moments.

"Yeah, of course." Josh said kindly, looking up to Tyler's face.

Tyler was biting his lip, hands wrapped tightly around his cup. "It's just, the weather is really bad, and I don't think walking home-"

"Tyler, don't be ridiculous. I'll drive you home. Just enjoy the coffee for now." Josh said with a smile.

Tyler nodded, and looked down at his cup. "Is something else bothering you?" Josh asked after a few moments of Tyler just sitting.   
"Tyler?" He asked when Tyler didn't respond. "Hey, dude are you okay?" He reached over for The other boys hand, but when he grabbed it Tyler jerked back violently, eyes wide and flashing up to look at Josh's.

"Don't-- stop touching me." Tyler growled, eyes hardening.

Josh was extremely lost, the small lost boy he was looking at just a few moments ago was transforming before his eyes. "Okay... I'm sorry, I was worried about you. You were just sitting there."

Tyler snorted. "Seriously, don't feel bad for me. It's him you should be feeling bad for." He said.

Josh tilted his head. "Tyler, what are you talking about-"

"Don't call me that!" He yelled angrily.

Josh was getting more confused by the minute. "That's your name?" He said, almost like a question.

Tyler- or whoever this guy apparently was- began laughing. Josh would've thought it was beautiful if it wasn't for the cold look on Tyler's face. "I forgot. We haven't met before. Not surprising... Tyler here doesn't have many friends."

Josh decided to play along, maybe this was just something about Tyler. Like- what was it called? Oh! Multiple personality disorder. "Oh? Why not, he seems wonderful." Josh said before sipping his coffee.

'Tyler' laughed again. "Please. You don't know him. He's messed up. Crazy. You don't want him." 'Tyler' watched Josh's eyebrows knit together and his lips purse.

"Don't talk about yourself- of Tyler- like that." He gritted.

"Whatever. It's your choice to stay, just don't be surprise about how things turn out." He said before closing his eyes, leaning back in his chair a little.

Josh just sat there, looking at Tyler to ensure he was still breathing, but not knowing what to do otherwise. Suddenly, Tyler's eyes snapped open panicked, and to Josh's relief they weren't empty and cold as they were.

"Tyler! Hey, it's okay." Josh said, reaching out for his hands without thinking about it.

Tyler latched onto his fingers almost desperately, taking deep breaths to try to calm his ragged breathing. "Yeah- I'm- I'm good." He choked out.

Josh nodded sympathetically. "Okay. Do you- well are you ready to leave?" Josh asked.

Tyler shrugged miserably, eyes watering. "I'm sorry I ruined this... I just- I wanted to have a nice time and then I just ruined it like always!" He said pitifully.

"Tyler, it's not your fault. I still had a great time, but I think we should get you home. It's quite late." Josh said while moving to stand up.

Tyler nodded in agreement, pushing his chair back and getting up. Seeing the slightly hunched figure and sad eyes on Tyler broke Josh's heart, before he knew it he was wrapping Tyler up in a big hug.

Tyler tensed for the first few seconds, and right before Josh was going to apologize and pull away Tyler grabbed onto him desperately, his face going to Josh's neck.  
  
After a few minutes, Brendon inevitably noticed and whistled across the cafe. "Hey, you kids leave room for Jesus!" Causing Tyler to snort and Josh to roll his eyes.

"Cmon Tyler, let's get you home."

*****

The car ride back to Tyler's was peaceful, they talked about music when Josh's cd played and turned out to be one of Tyler's favorites.

"Well Josh, I really appreciate everything." Tyler said.

"No problem man, but if you don't mind.... Could I have your number?" Josh asked nervously.

Tyler flushed. "Y-yeah of course." He muttered. "Do you have paper?"

Josh reached into the back and pulled up his school bag, reaching in to find the supplies.

Tyler scribbled down his number and signed it with a Tyler <3 before handing it back to Josh.

Josh smiled sweetly. "Thanks. I'll text you later, okay?"

Tyler smiled. "Later." And opened his door to go inside. He waved as Josh drove off, and waited until he disappeared before climbing up the stairs to his apartment.

Tyler unlocked the door and walked into his apartment, smile still present on his face. He walked down the hallway to his bedroom, collapsing on his bed when he got there. He rolled into his side, and wrapped his arms around one of his pillows, still not able to wipe the giant stupid smile off his face.

He blushes when he realized he still has Josh's clothes on, and he breathes in deeply, Josh's scent still on the clothes. It makes Tyler's heart flutter, thinking about how well he thought they got along. He may even start loving him-

' _Who? You and Josh? You really are stupid. He doesn't fucking like you, and especially won't after he met me.'_

"Shut up, blurry." Tyler mumbled, mood darkening.

_'Ha. No. It's been too long since we've chatted, don't you think? And nobody could ever love you. Look around, you're worthless. You have no friends, your job sucks, and you can't even pay attention in class. You're a pathetic excuse for a human.'_

Tyler bit his lip, eyes welling with tears. "Blurry- stop. Please."

' _Hah. Even worse, you're begging like a little bitch. Josh could never love something like you- ugly and stupid. Your own family disowned you because you just had to be a slut and have a dick fucking you.'_

Tyler was crying now, sobs rocking his small body. "Blurry, blurry stop!" He yelled, body moving towards the bathroom.

' _No. You deserve it, whore.' He spat out._

Tyler sobbed harder, numb hands scrabbling into his drawer to find his razor. When he found it, blurry let out a shrill laugh.

' _Do it! Do it do it, do it now!' He chanted_.

"I- I guess I really do deserve it." Tyler whispered as he brought the blade down to his skin.

******

Laying on the floor surrounded in his own blood, Tyler looked down at himself, feeling completely numb. But it did shut blurry up for a while, maybe he could get some sleep.

He was getting up to get a rag when his phone buzzed. _Josh_!  
He remembered.

_Hey Tyler! It's Josh, just wanted to say hi. Would it be lame to say I already miss you?_

Tyler smiled and went to type back, catching sight of his arms. Josh would never like him if he knew what Tyler did, what he thought of himself. He decided to leave responding and cleaning up for the morning, and laid on the bed to go to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think guys :) thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey hey it's me again here's some light SIN for a bedtime story.

Josh wasn’t that much of a worrier. Even as a child, he was a laid-back, ‘go-with-the-flow’ kinda guy. So he wasn’t used to the stomach turning sickness he felt when Tyler wasn’t answering.

You see, Josh didn’t expect a response to his text _immediately_ per say, but a week was a long time. He usually wouldn’t care; think that the other person must’ve not liked him as much as he thought. Things like that happen. But there was some sort of connection between him and Tyler, he couldn’t put his finger on it, but he really wanted to see Tyler (And his favourite skeleton hoodie) again. And he could’ve sworn Tyler felt the same.

The really nerve-wracking thing is what Josh knew about how Tyler could get. He did some research for how Tyler was acting, he knew it was invasive but he just _had_ to calm his curiosity. And some of the possibilities were downright horrific. Thinking about Tyler alone like that with… well with whomever he was at the coffee shop made Josh concerned. So, Josh decided to go with his gut and drive over to Tyler’s house tomorrow, as he had Tuesday’s off.

He got under the covers, satisfied with his plan. But when he tried to sleep, only thoughts of Tyler filled his head. They started off as they usually do, beautiful, elegant, and just so damn cute. But quickly Josh’s brain started supply gruesome images of what Tyler could’ve done, blood seeping around him while tears rolled down his cheeks. Josh gasped and flew up, scrambling to find his keys and shoes in the dark. He couldn’t stay away any longer.

~~~~  
Tyler hadn’t left his bed for 4 days, 7 hours, 20 minutes, and 17 seconds. His depression was acting up, but he couldn’t bring himself to go to the pharmacy and get his meds refilled. He slowly ran out of all his prescriptions, and felt more and more helpless by the day. Blurry had been as evil as ever, tormenting him about Josh. Tyler had tried everything to get rid of him, but he knew the only thing that would help would be taking his meds, and that’s the one thing Blurry wouldn’t allow. Patrick would usually go with him to get refills, but was swept away on a trip with his boyfriend after Tyler assured him that he could handle spending a 2 weeks alone.

Oh, he was so very wrong.

_‘Hey. Hey Tyler. Do you want to hear a joke?’ Blurry asked._

“No.” Tyler grumbled, muffled by the pillows.

_‘Well. I was going to say your life, but who could say such a mean thing when you feel like this. Oh, wait. I can. Why don’t you pick your shitty self up and actually take a shower, it’s been way too long, you dirty slut.’ He spat._

Tyler whimpered pathetically, not having the energy to fight back as blurry made him stumble into the bathroom that looked half like a murder scene.

_‘Ugh. Your blood is everywhere.’ Blurry said_ as Tyler just walked through it and to the shower.

“And whose fault is that?” Tyler huffed angrily under his breath.

_‘I know that’s how you get rid of me. But has it gotten through your stupid head that it isn’t working? Not that I’m complaining, watching you in here doing that everyday makes me feel a certain way.’ Blurry said with a laugh. ‘I bet you’re failing alllll your classes now. You probably were fired, too.’_

Tyler bit back his sob, stepping into the steaming shower. “Stop it, Blurry!” He yelled.

_‘Ha ha. No way. This is great! You have barely eaten, annnnd you’ve been ignoring all of Josh’s texts-‘_

“What!” Tyler yelled. “Josh- Josh has been texting me?” He asked with disbelief.

_‘Yeah. Pretty clingy, honestly. Not our type. Not like he’d want you, anyways.’_

Tyler sighed. After hearing it so many times, he was starting to believe blurry. “I know.” He said quietly, and went back to his shower; ignoring Blurry the whole time.

~~~~  
Josh doesn’t even want to think about how many traffic laws he was breaking. The only thing going through his mind was, _‘Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why did you wait this long? What if you get there and it’s too late, or when you get there you find Tyler trying to do something stupid? Oh god, oh god.’_

He flies into the parking lot next to Tyler’s apartment, and rushes out of his car and into the lobby. He doesn’t waste time with elevator, taking the stairs one, two, almost three at a time. He’s panting when he reaches the floor he remembered Tyler telling him, but can’t recall the room number.

“Shit…” He mumbled.

“Are you okay, mister?” An elderly lady asked him, dragging an oxygen tank on wheels behind her.

“Uh.. Yeah- Sorry I’m fine. I just- I’m real worried about my friend-“ He panted out, halfway hyperventilating.

“Well slow down, honey. What’s your friend’s name?” She asked sweetly.

“Ty-Tyler.” He stuttered.

“Oh! Tyler yes, what a lovely young boy. You know, when I tripped and hurt my hip, he was the one to come help- but you’re obviously in a hurry. I won’t keep you. His room is next to mine, number 212. Is he okay?” She asked.

“Yeah- I’m sure he’s fine. Thank you!” Josh yelled behind him as he tore down the hallway to Tyler’s apartment.

Josh skidded to a stop at the door, and was ecstatic when it was unlocked. He opened the door quickly, and immediately cringed at what he saw.

_What had he done?_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! Sorry for the cliffhanger- it's nothing terrible I PROMise okay goodbye fellow filthy sinners but oH YEAH THE NEW PANIC! ALBUM IS STILL THE SHIT HELL YEAH BRENDON OKay goodnight

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This was just a little thing I found in my notes, and I might go somewhere with it if y'all enjoy it! Tell me how you like it :)


End file.
